Insignificant but disturbingly honest

Category: Wednesday (page 1 of 7)

Happy humpday

I’m just having this odd feeling that I don’t really wanna do anything at all. Not really feeling like it. Think I’m just gonna go to bed. Oh wait, I have 30 minutes left of the Xmas special of Black Mirror. That first. Then bed.

Had a friend ask me today if I was feeling sad. Figured so because I’ve kept to myself a bit lately. Said I’m just fine. And while it wasn’t exactly a lie I guess it’s not entirely true either. Like I said, it’s not the best part of the year. Also, I… well, there’s this thing I’m going through with my therapist.

It’s an underlying emotion or feeling I have of not being good enough. Or maybe not being OK the way I am. And lately I’ve had a bit of an issue with that. I feel like I’m the second best thing of sort. Second choice. Not entirely appreciated. And when things like today happen, when two friends have to cancel our plans, and I’ve just said no to another friend, it just… sucks.

I guess I just wanna feel like I’m someone’s favorite person again. You know?

But hey, it’ll get better. I feel stronger than ever and I can deal with this really good. I know it’s just a passing feeling and that I have caring friends around me as was obvious by the question I got. It warms my heart that people are perceptive of things I don’t really think about myself.

But I’m gonna go to bed. Sleep tight little ones~

leaves

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Forgot about the cup of tea

Another good and fun day. Productive. Lots of laughing. All in all good really. But I can’t help but feel tremendously uninspired! Like something is missing, that I’m used to getting. It’s itching away at me and I can’t properly relax and enjoy the things I usually do. Oh well. Life~

Endorphins

Oh em gee! I just watched the season finale of Halt and Catch Fire season 3. And had a beer. And some whiskey. The feeling at the moment. Man, I’ve not felt this great in ages. Might be because I’m slightly crushing on someone too. Maybe. Just very, very slightly. But still. I had a chat with a friend the other day about the feeling you have the moment you realize that you’re mutually in love with someone. This is the closest I’ve got to that in yeeeeeears. And I know I’m not even close to that situation but still. I’m just gonna enjoy this moment as much as I possibly can.

Halt and Catch Fire. Joe. Gordon. Cameron. Donna. You are the fucking best! You know that?! I know that you’re only fictional but you are my role models. You are what I would wanna be if I were serious about my career. I wish I had people like that to work with. Then again I do have the best colleagues in the world but I don’t know if anyone is serious in that kind of way. Really, this show. It is one of the best shows I’ve ever watched. Maybe because it hits close to home. It is… brilliant! BRILLIANT! Feels a bit like family.

And now, I just can’t stop smiling. Haha. I’m just all smiles in my bed right now. And this gut feeling is the best. Peeps, this is what life should be like. Really. I’m sure I’ll be back tomorrow with an equally depressing post but this feeling is worth one hundred bad days. I’m sure I’ll regret saying that, haha.

Ok, so I better get some sleep anyway. Tomorrow we’re having a photographer over at work. Apparently there will be photos of the place in general as well as portrait photos shot. Soooooooo. Might not wanna look like a fucking ghost. Damn, wish I was back on Mallorca. Sun. That was nice. Next year!

Sweet dreams y’all and lovesies~

Tomorrow is conference day

Just did that last bit of packing for tomorrow’s conference. It’s of course too late as usual but I will at least be getting 5.5 hours of sleep. Maybe less, since I noticed Nördigt has released their first podcast episode after the summer break. Yeeeeeeha!

Today was a good day. Productive at work, lots of laughter and a super good bike workout in the evening. Very nice! Halt and Catch Fire has started as well. Season 3 that is. So far I haven’t gotten into the vibe but I’m sure it’ll pick up the pace. Two episodes in they are just setting up the pieces.

Uhm yeah. What else. Well, I fully plan on getting back to the Cykelvasan race. I wanna share what it was like and all that stuff. Just haven’t had the time to sit down and write about it all. This weekend maybe? We’ll see. These remaining days of the week will be quite pleasing I think. Weeee~~~

♥♥♥

me-sun-biking

me-sonja-elin

me-elin

oakley-jawbreaker

Adieu Suède, bonjour l’été.

I can’t say that I mourned Sweden’s loss and thus their last game in this edition of the euros. Haven’t been following the circus too much. I’m more sad for Zlatan and all of the other players than I am for us, the supporters. Still, I guess you always hope for a miracle until the bitter end.

Tomorrow is Thursday and since it’s midsummer it’s our last day of work for the weekend. Hopefully it’ll be an easy going atmosphere at work since we’re not that many at the office tomorrow. Then I’ll be spending the coming days doing absolutely nothing. Well riding my bike if the weather allows but otherwise just resting up and reading gaming magazines. Feels good to skip out on the midsummer hysteria. Especially since it’ll most likely rain anyway, haha.

Have a nice one y’all~

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