Insignificant but disturbingly honest

Category: Precious life (page 2 of 14)

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Enjoying life and getting drawn into The Witcher 3

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Couldn’t ask for more!

What a lovely weekend! I always think that a sure sign that you’ve had a good time is that you think to yourself, “What?! Already?!”. Feel properly blessed right now since just being feels really good. I think the fact that I’ve had a really tough work week as well helps that. It’s like I really deserved two days off and then I made them count. Without really trying too hard. But I’ve had exceptional help.

Friday I spent with my family eating tacos and catching up. Sis has gotten a job over at IKEA this summer. Truly happy for her! Means she can say goodbye to the local cheese warehouse. After that I hung out with my best buddy and watched the last two episodes of The Fall (plus had a couple of nice beers of course!). A series I can thoroughly recommend. Very exciting! Apparently there is a third season coming out later this year. Ended up staying up real late on Friday night, felt good.

On Saturday I slept in a bit and then got a call from an old colleague who I haven’t seen in a month or so. We went out for a longer run and her daughter went biking alongside. Missed them both so it was fun to see them. After that they invited me to stay for lunch and her husband spoiled us with fillet of elk. It was leftovers from the day before but it was so tender. Best meat I’ve had in a while.

After that I went home and rested a bit before taking the bike out to Sonja and Lars on Ängsö. Before that I had a run in with my landlord’s son too. Turns out he had a downhill bike which looked, well, PROPER! Really cool. But anyway, took my Trek out and went to the island on the outskirts of Ulricehamn. My friends have their summer house there. Honestly, such a nice place and now they’ve built a guest house as well. Hung out and cuddled with the kids, talked, ate good food, drank beer and wine. Precious people. Precious precious. If you’re reading this, love you guys!

Today we just say on the beach and enjoyed the sun and the gentle breeze. The kids played by the lake and in the sand. Actually got a light tan. Oh and I slept in the guest house and had some really weird dreams, haha. Remember that Sonja came and woke me up in the middle of the night (in the dream that is) and had some weird group of people with her. They told me that I had to come with them, otherwise all hell would break lose. And it sure did since I was like.. to hell with you, I want to sleep. Get out. Then war broke out on the island and yeah. Haha. So weird. Anyway, after a few hours I went home since it was lunch time.

Also got to ride my Trek on some mountain bike roads for the first time this year. My legs weren’t what they used to be. I felt tired, but it was fun! It will be fun to ride the bike more this year at some cool places. In just a month or so I’ll be taking part in my second ever bike race, Göteborgsgirot 140km. Getting a bit nervous thinking about it. Many people will be taking part.

This evening I’ve just been relaxing. Taking a bath. Texting with Hannah. Chatting with a couple of friends. Not doing anything in particular. It’s almost midnight but I wanna watch something before going to bed. Perhaps have a beer and some popcorn. Don’t mind not getting too much sleep tonight. I won’t be breaking much of a sweat tomorrow. At work or at home.

That’s my weekend. Quite perfect if you ask me. Love my family. Love my friends. Love the kids. What more can you ask for?

Hope you guys also had a good weekend. Love~

M


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Swan by the lake

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Goodies ^_^;;

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More goodies ^_^;;;

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Friend’s daughter Milla <3

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Biking on the old railroad segment

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The kids’ hangout

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Me and Sonja <3

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Lil’ Erik fell asleep on my lap

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Another view from Ängsö

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Sonja had built the kids a tree house

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The kids <3

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Scott Gambler

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After a couple of hectic days.. 🙂

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This warms my heart when times are tough ♥

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Controlling turbulence

Emotions are running high, while at the same time I don’t feel much at all. Strange experience. It’s been a couple of real exhausting days mentally, challenging to say the least. Finally arrived at a long awaited weekend though. I wish I could feel better about it but surely it’ll sink in in due time. No real plans for these two days. Take it hour by hour, but I’m sure to go for a walk real soon. Tomorrow I wanna visit a couple I’m friends with that are getting two little kitty fur balls.

So what’s been up? I can’t go into details since it’s sensitive and I want to protect my friends. But basically a lot of stuff has happened at work. It’s been quite turbulent to say the least but I hope we are doing OK now, or at least on the right path. When lots has to get done over a short period of time it tends to wear on people and it brings out the worst in them. We’ve had arguments and disputes about how to do stuff but most of it has been resolved.

Unfortunately this Thursday I felt that a meeting we had went pretty bad since especially two people couldn’t see past their differences. They’re both pretty stubborn and proud so no one wants to budge more or less. And I felt that I got stuck in between and couldn’t do my job properly. I talked about it with one of my bosses and she convinced me to talk to all of the involved parties about it and see what could be done. Two of them reacted well and told me that they had felt similarly, but one of them didn’t, and instead blamed much of it on another person. This person, despite being real strong and one I admire lots, got really hurt and sad of course.

So last morning when I got to work I was met by one colleague crying because of personal matters involving a mutual friend, and another one real hurt and not sure whether we thought it his/her fault or if it was just a big misunderstanding. I always have a strong urge to be there for my friends and it pained me to see them sad like this so I felt I wanted to support both of them. Seeing a friend cry is one of those weird situations where you don’t really know what to do. You feel like you just want to shelter them and protect them from the world yet you don’t really know if that’s the right way to deal with it. And what do you say? It’s a fine line between making things better and making things worse. Seeing two of your closest friends cry within the same hour, from different reasons, what are even the odds? It shouldn’t happen. It mustn’t happen.

Eventually I think (and hope) that it panned out OK. I/we managed to persuade the person to stay and talk to one or our bosses and explain about the feelings and afterwards it got a lot better. As for my other friend I’m a bit concerned that I wasn’t able to be there properly since I’m a bit swayed to one of them due to personal reasons but after asking, I hope it was OK. We all had lunch together and I got to see some smiles which truly warmed my heart. Tears, although equally important as laughter, really hurt.

After all of this I still had to talk to my boss about the situation I felt bad about from the other day, and also manage to do some work. The talk went well and I’m proud of being able to stay calm and reasonable after such a tough day, but if I’m honest I didn’t get a whole lot done that day. Hopefully that’s OK.

The rest of the day was OK but my plans for the evening went out the window and I fell asleep oddly early and woke up 1am on the couch. Had lots of strange dreams during the entire night. War, not being able to live up to my assigned task, and trapped in the same couch as a cuddling couple while feeling completely alone. It’s taken me the entire morning to shake the bad feelings off. Hopefully afternoon and evening brings me more joy. I’m gonna go out for a walk now and try to reset my systems.

To all my friends out there, love you lots ♥

Drinking from an infinitely deep well

Writing this I realize that yet another week has passed by and it’s crazy really. I remember writing here almost every day, at least every other day. And now it’s almost a week between the posts. Guessing that’s a good thing though as it means I’m occupied and also that I don’t have too many issues to write home about. Well apart from the fact that the weekends are far too short. As usual.

Been having a good week, both at work and at home. Talking to friends. Hanging out with friends. Working with an exciting project. Learning new stuff. ‘Tis nice. Weekend has been filled with friends and also work. Was invited to Lennart&Henriette Friday evening. They’re both very kind and I love their kids as well. Got to see his impressive new bike as well. Can’t wait for spring to come so we can ride our bikes again. Saturday me and Erik went to Borås to help a friend out with moving mail servers. Not the most stimulating of jobs but it’s nice to help out and hopefully it pays well in the end.

Today I ran again for the first time in almost a month. The foot held up nicely but I have an odd sensation in it now so better be careful with running for the next week or so. Also had a head on collision with a big dog. Thankfully it went well for both of us. Spent the afternoon with Aigul just talking and having lunch. Was real nice. One of those persons I can talk lots with and I like how honest she is. We haven’t been running for a while so it was nice to catch up.

Now I’m going to head for bed. Or at least soon enough. Might watch something before doing so. I also want to share a thought before leaving. I thought about it the other day, been thinking about it for a while and also discussed it with some friends.

Don’t you think it’s funny that while it’s so natural for us to recognize a face, some faces get so dear to us that it feels like we can look at them for hours? You instantly know it’s the person when you see them, yet you can see photos of them and you see new features all the time. And you can secretly stare at them and find new things, new lines and new features to admire every single time. It’s like you never fully get to know what the look like.

While thinking about it I particularly remembered that my ex sometimes looked at me, not in my eyes but more like at my facial features, and then several seconds later just looked me in the eyes and smiled, so genuinely and so content. Like she’d seen something she really liked. Yet we knew each other really well obviously and it’s not like she saw my face for the first time. I don’t want to indulge in self flattery but it’s more like it goes to show that I’m not the only one thinking this way probably. It’s like… when you really like someone you can spend hours just looking at them. You never tire of their appearance. I think this is one of those things in life that you really want to experience, and to experience that mutually. I’ve had a feeling slightly like that recently and while it’s not mutual it’s kind of cool to experience. Makes you feel alive. Hope you get to experience that as well sometime, or maybe you already have.

Now. Good night~~~


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