I’m just having this odd feeling that I don’t really wanna do anything at all. Not really feeling like it. Think I’m just gonna go to bed. Oh wait, I have 30 minutes left of the Xmas special of Black Mirror. That first. Then bed.

Had a friend ask me today if I was feeling sad. Figured so because I’ve kept to myself a bit lately. Said I’m just fine. And while it wasn’t exactly a lie I guess it’s not entirely true either. Like I said, it’s not the best part of the year. Also, I… well, there’s this thing I’m going through with my therapist.

It’s an underlying emotion or feeling I have of not being good enough. Or maybe not being OK the way I am. And lately I’ve had a bit of an issue with that. I feel like I’m the second best thing of sort. Second choice. Not entirely appreciated. And when things like today happen, when two friends have to cancel our plans, and I’ve just said no to another friend, it just… sucks.

I guess I just wanna feel like I’m someone’s favorite person again. You know?

But hey, it’ll get better. I feel stronger than ever and I can deal with this really good. I know it’s just a passing feeling and that I have caring friends around me as was obvious by the question I got. It warms my heart that people are perceptive of things I don’t really think about myself.

But I’m gonna go to bed. Sleep tight little ones~

leaves

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