People often tell me lately how I’m always so happy, inspirational, motivating, supportive and what not. Those are all features and traits that I like to be associated with and that I really strive to have and be. I’m happy that people take notice, mention it and appreciate it. Because if there’s anything that I dislike a lot it’s people who take things for granted.
I want to be a person that people feel good hanging out with, and that they can trust and confide in. What saddens me though is that when I’m not that person people tend to shy away and not know how to behave or not want that person in their life. That makes me very sad and you end up feeling betrayed.
Not sure it’s obvious but I’m a very delicate person and sometimes my mood can swing from being very happy to being very sad in a matter of hours, and when I come home I just want to lie on the bed crying. I’ve been considering several times during the past years whether or not I’m suffering from some kind of diagnosis but that doesn’t really matter. I am who I am. Still, it hurts like hell when people take advantage of that or when you give but you don’t get something returned. Like ever. Or very seldom.
I’m glad that I can make do without so much human interaction but slightly so often I still get that feeling of being let down and it’s always so tough when you’re an emotional person like I am.
Anyway, I shouldn’t take these couple of days of not being on top too hard. I’ve been having a blast for the past several months since I hit the wall in March so I’m fine with a few days that suck. But yeah. Still can’t quite let go of the feeling…
Have a good weekend all of you though~