These past days, the beginning of this year’s vacation, have been fairly cloudy. Dreamy. Not really in a good sense but not necessarily in a bad sense either. Slightly nightmarish. The way that you feel that you’d gladly shake it of off yourself. Hard to describe. Also been having this feeling that gosh I’m 30 years old. I’ll never be 10 years again. I’ll never feel the way I did back then. Which I guess in a way stresses that you should live in the present and cherish what you have. In any case, yeah, not bad but not good days either.

Thing is I have moments where I barely recognize my whole existence. Where it feels like everything is wrong. Something is off. Which is also when my hearts starts to behave oddly. Like it has been doing during these days. And it feels… I dunno, like I’m being in a world from which I’ll soon wake up and shake off all of these bad feelings. Unfortunately I don’t but yeah.

Today one of my best buddies celebrated 30 years. Bought him some goodies from the local delicacies store. I love that store and I love the people working there. Where small talks feels good. I really wish them all the best with their expansion this fall. You all ought to go there and buy stuff that they have. Lovely sausage. Lovely cheese. Lovely chocolate. Lovely licorice.

Was close to just stay home today because I have a really hard time meeting people when I feel like this. But I managed to turn my mood around and go despite the feelings and it turned out all good in the end. They’re a bunch of good people all of them. I like how I these days (or years) am able to talk to pretty much everyone. Despite having a bad day really. Sometimes I wish I didn’t have this fragile brain and psyche. I wish that I didn’t have to fight it so much. Because in the end when it all comes down to it it’s not so hard really. Well, unless you’re in a situation where you feel uncomfortable, which thankfully aren’t too many these days. But I still falter in the most important one. And I always will..

I also hung out with my best buddy today plus a mutual friend of ours. This friend I see far too seldom which is a shame because he’s a real good guy. There truly are so many good persons in this world and I’m thankful for every nice person that comes into my life and enriches it. Hopefully I enrich their life in some kind of way as well. At least I’d like to think so. I know I’m an ass, let people down and even hurt people at times but hopefully this comes more seldom.

Watched Need for Speed. Quite nice frankly. Better than I had expected. Probably because I was slightly drunk. It had more of driving and less of the action adventure that signifies the FATF movies. In some ways that might be better, in others maybe not so much. I also have to confess that I have a new celebrity crush.





She’s the most pretty thing I saw since… yeah, never mind. Pretty.


But yeah. Forget everything I just wrote or what not. It doesn’t make any sense and it definitely doesn’t make any difference to anyone. Good night and have a good life~