It’s also been quite tough in Stockholm. For some reason my body seem to react bad to situations that’s different from the norm. Even though I must say that I’m extremely more relaxed now than I used to be in unknown territory, it seems like my body is still taking a toll. It’s been rough to and from since summer but not this bad. Fun thing is that it seemed to be getting better for a while there but now it’s even worse than in the beginning.
Extremely tired. Heart beating oddly several times a minute. Nearly fainting. Being unfocused and tense. Feeling like you’re walking on a boat. Basically you’re just a mess. Thankfully it’s not always like this but it’s hard to properly relax when it comes and goes as it pleases. It also lowers your psychic stamina so to speak, so you’re more vulnerable in general. More prone to feeling sad for instance. Which means that things you thought you were through come back and bite you in the ass. Or at least threatens to do so. No fun at all. But that’s part of me and I won’t fight it desperately. I just wish my subconscious could come to terms with things the way I somewhat logically have done. You know? But I’m beginning to realize that that’s not how things work. You carry your luggage, your wounds, your faults, your broken love, your pain. That’s you too.
Lots of love to you all~ <3
I wake up and I’m in this strangely familiar place that’s both inside and outside at the same time. It’s a city really but it feels like it’s inside a huge mountain hall, and it reminds me of my hometown. It’s also somewhat of a steampunk setting. There’s vines everywhere. And thick, wooden panels and doors. I walk around this huge place, exploring, up and down stairs. I can’t shake the feeling that I’m not allowed to be here but I see no people. Not that I notice anyhow. Then I’m with this girl, with whom I also feel strangely familiar. I can sense that she’s an important part of me but I don’t know why. She looks at me and smiles, and I embrace her. We embrace. I whisper, we can’t do this. This is not right. You must go. She tells me that this is where she belongs, where she feels safe. But I can feel that it’s not right. Her embrace tightens. There’s a sudden flash – and it’s all gone. The city. The girl. The beautiful surroundings. But the feelings lingers..