I read an interesting article on Aftonbladet a few weeks back and realized I didn’t share it on here. Well it wasn’t so much an article as it was a blog post really but it shed light on something I’ve found funny these last years. It’s how Facebook makes us believe, falsely most likely, that every other person is leading a better life than you and I are. Don’t misunderstand me, I really enjoy Facebook and I think it’s great for certain things. Sharing things from your life, photos, status updates, where you are, what you do, and with whom you are. But it also raises an issue and that’s when people are using Facebook when they’re maybe not feeling so good. When they’re bored, broken hearted, having a bad day or what not. They then see all the good things that others are doing. Vacation trips. How in love they are. What cool things they have done, or bought. It’s easy in these situations to start to compare this to your own life. What also happens is that you are comparing your own inner experience and emotions to what others are sharing on Facebook, which of course makes no sense at all. Maybe they too are having tough times, they’re just not sharing it on Facebook.
I should say that I’m actually guilty of this myself. I tend to want to share when I’m doing something fun, when I’m happy and when I’m feeling good, loved, excited or what not. It almost gets to the point where you are bragging to the world and trying to show how good of a life you are leading. I’d like to believe that most of the time it’s genuine, that we are really happy and that we want to share that with the world. But sometimes it’s like we want to persuade ourselves and others that we are in fact happy and all that. It’s funny because when I had this thought I also thought that maybe I should start to share when I’m not feeling so good. When things are going against me and when I struggle. Because let’s all be honest here, life is not always a bed of roses. Quite the contrary. I felt like I wanted to show to others that this is me, and this is what I experience. I’m not always peaking. I guess I also wanted to share my pain and get help and encouraging words. Because as much as people can give “thumbs up” on good things, people (and in this case maybe friends) should be able to cheer you up when you’re having a tough time.
Anyways, what I realized was that it felt good to share bad stuff as well. I liked to write all of it down, get it out in the open and let people know how I felt. And let people know that not all that goes on here are good and funny. It was relieving. What came as a surprise though was that even though many encouraged me and felt it was a good thing to share, it also made many persons irritated and frustrated with me. I guess I should have seen this coming though as people tend to get bugged when you’re complaining and “seeking attention”. Seeking attention in a bad way, that is. All I can say to this is: don’t read it. I’m not forcing you. The funny thing is that in real life, people usually tend to get jealous and irritated when people are having a good time. When people are considered to “lead a better life than they are”. But in this case making it all transparent, showing how I hurt and had a hard time, actually made people irritated. Instead of maybe thinking that “hey, here is someone who have issues as well, I’m not the only one”. Thank god. Another funny observation was that most of the people getting bugged, were the ones who should be considered to be the most happy at the time. Like I tainted their “happy place” and made it a worse place to be in. If you are so happy, why should it drag you down that someone else is feeling slightly worse? It’s easy for you, from your high and mighty place (happiness), to say that “Oh come on, get a grip and don’t complain so much”. Just because all the problems in the world seem so small for you at the moment.
Gosh, it sounds like I’m complaining but I’m not. I don’t want to complain! I just want people to be aware of the fact that Facebook is not reality. Facebook is not how people really feel to 100%. All of the time. Facebook is what we choose to share. What we choose to show. A glorified slice of life. Don’t take it all too serious. When you might feel that sting of jealousy, sadness, envy or what not.. stop for one second and think. Maybe you’ll come to the conclusion that your life isn’t so bad, and maybe that other person’s life isn’t such a glorified Hollywood movie. For what it’s worth, from talking to several people, I know that what they share on Facebook and what their lives are really like, well.. let’s just say that they’re not mirror images. Not that they should be. Definitely not. But it’s good to know.
As for me, I started this blog so that I could let things off my chest, share, complain, etc, all that I wanted without someone getting bugged. It’s not quite the same thing but at least it’s relieving in the same way. And I don’t want to rain on someone’s glorious parade, now do I? 🙂