Just finished watching the first season of Jericho. Oh boy, it took me like almost a year. I was so into it when I first started and watched several episodes in just one week. But then, for some reason, I stopped and I didn’t pick it up until a few weeks back. I think I remember thinking that I thought it lost its pacing. And yeah, it isn’t as good as it was in the beginning but it’s still really good. Let’s hope they tie all the loose ends up in the second (and last?) season. Good feelings about that show anyway. Shed many tears watching it. That’s probably the best thing about it. Despite it being about a reality which most likely won’t happen (let’s hope anyway) the persons portrayed in it feel very real, and their relations feel very real as well. Always hits my heart.

This first week of my vacation has been really good. I know I say this a lot recently but I truly feel blessed. It’s easy to say that life could be better, wishing for it to be just that little bit better. Searching for excitement and bliss. But then I think about what my life could look like. What my life DID look like, just a few years back. Now I have so many friends. Friends that are good, friends that accept me for who I am. Friends with whom I can be myself, 100%. I have lovely neighbors and wonderful colleagues. I know we’re not supposed to say stuff like this but I’m proud of myself. I know I’ve done some very bad things for which I’m not proud of, but in general I can say that I feel good about myself. And I’m also proud for not being stuck up and not being able to admit that I have been wrong. Being able to say that I’m sorry.

Tomorrow I’m getting up early. In five hours actually. Going to Falkenberg to watch some touring cars. Duh. I’ll be a zombie I bet, but I’ll wake up eventually. I’ve gotten burned by the sun real bad as well. Figured I could lay out in the sun while listening to Dan Brown’s latest book. Well, maybe I should’ve been a bit more careful with how long. Then again, when the skin calms down it’ll be nice and tanned, woho.

Well, I should probably sleep then. Love late nights though. And vacation. Only “bad” thing is that I tend to get sentimental. Nostalgic. Jericho also triggered my nostalgia. The feelings I had back then, when I first watched it. What life looked like back then. It’s funny… it doesn’t matter how good my life looks like now, how good it feels. I still wish I could go back in time and “fix things”. Be better. It’s such a big shame it had to pan out the way it did. The arguments, the fighting, the trash talk. For what it’s worth maybe it was for the better, even though it sucks to put it that way. I still wish it could’ve worked. It seems you ended up with a good guy though. I’m glad you are happy, even though it hurts it couldn’t be with me. And I’m glad to have come to the conclusion that letting you go doesn’t have to mean forcing you out of existence in my memories. That’s not gonna happen. I sometimes still end up on your Facebook profile for some reason. Mutual friends. Curiosity. Caring. And I bring up a photo and smile, realizing I still think you’re so damn pretty, and being happy to have shared my life, and precious moments, with you. You’ll never be replaced and you’ll always be in my heart. Hope you don’t hate me for it~~

Is that sappy enough for y’all?! Well then, good night!

Lonestar – Not A Day Goes By