I did eventually end up having a nice weekend actually. Thankfully. Otherwise I don’t know how I could’ve managed to go to work today and pull off a regular work day. We ended up barbecuing and god knows what really. I don’t remember, haha. Yeah right! We watched Game of Thrones. And I was stoked about the episode. And equally stoked about the fact that we watched it on a Sunday and that a new episode would get released the day after. Only to realize today that they wouldn’t be showing a new episode since they apparently have some sort of pause due to another show starting to air today. Sigh. What a disappointment!

But sometimes my mood surprises me actually. It’s funny how I’m actually able to seek out a good mental state as much as I’m able to seek out a bad mental state. If you know what I mean. Sometimes it’s as if you want to feel bad and you’re doing everything to feel bad… be it deliberately or not. Somebody should slap me and force me to seek out that good mental state more often. I mean, why would I want to feel bad? I know it’s nice to cry your heart out every once in a while but several times a week? No >_<

Today.. well, I can’t say that there’s not a bitter aftertaste really. But at least I didn’t have to cry all the time. And I actually laughed a lot! Was hanging out with my bro Andreas, watching the show The Killing. Really recommended! Joel Kinnaman does a real good job portraying the ghetto cop Holder. And you somewhat care about all the characters. They all have their motives and they all go through their own shit. We’re up to the last episode in season two now. And from what I’ve heard Netflix is pushing for a third season that’s about to start now in June or something like that. Sweet!

Oh I forgot what to write. It’s getting late. One thing though… have you ever thought about something and it’s like your body crinches? It’s kind of like empathy/sympathy. You know when you see somebody getting hurt and you can almost feel it in your own body. I have this thing where something can hurt mentally when I think about it and it causes physical pain in the body. Often in my feet and my ankles. It’s odd. And not so nice. Sigh.

I guess the effects of the wine is wearing off now. It’s time to call it quits and go to bed. Maybe getting more than 4-5 hours of sleep would be good for me every once in a while. Maybe then I wouldn’t end up with this godforsaken heartburn all of the time. Curse it!

Btw I’m pretty lucky (no, god damn lucky to be honest, I don’t deserve it) to have all the good friends I have. Five years ago I would’ve sat alone going through all the crap I have on my chest now. I would’ve succumbed to it really. But now I can share the pain and it, at least momentarily, goes away. Thank you <3

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I got some new vinyl records today btw! Two from Daft Punk and one from Håkan Hellström. The two leftmost are honestly super good. Well they’re all super good really. Listen to them! Now all I have to get is a record player so that I can play them back. I’m kind of curious to how it’s gonna sound.

Good night fellas! <3